Day: May 24, 2020

Very Late Night COVID-19 joke

his is an original spin on a very old joke. I made it up myself, and you are required to laugh. The ending will surprise you, especially if you know the old joke.

A man walks into a grocery store, during these Corona Virus times, with a dog closely following:
The grocery store manager immediately heads his way:
Manager:You can’t have a dog in here unless he’s your seeing-eye dog. You’re not blind.
Man: Sir, I am in an awful bind. We’re out of toilet paper in my house, and I’ve got to get some.
Manager: We have only a few packages and they are reserved for the elderly. And you still can’t have that dog in here.
Man: OK listen, this is a talking dog.
Manager: Yeah?
Man: Oh yeah. If I can prove it, could I get one of those reserved packages of toilet paper?
Manager stares at him for a few moments. Then his good humor suprisingly gets the better of him. He waves his arm: Well, this I gotta see. Sure, let’s see your talking dog, and you better not be yanking my chain.
The man, suddenly energized, turns to his dog, who sits, expectant and alert: OK Max, what does sandpaper feel like?
Max: Ruff!!
Man: What’s that thing on the top of a house?
Max: Roof!
Manager, his humor evaporated, grabs the man by the arm and shouts: OK pal, we’re done here.
Man: Wait, wait, please I beg you, one more chance! Max, who’s the all-time home run leader?
Max pauses, cocks his head, seemingly indecisive. Even the manager freezes in strange anticipation. Suddenly Max blurts out: Ruth!!!

The near-magical moment broken, the angry grocery store manager hustles the man out the door and hurls him out onto the sidewalk with his dog.

The man gets up, dusts himself off slowly, glaring at Max.
Max, quizzically: What? I did good in there.


Man: HANK AARON. YOU MORON. HANK AARON.

[note: in the Unum house we do not count the Roid King. Leave it alone]